Hi bloggers again.... I just discovered this useful little utitily that allows me to blog on the fly... so I am using it.
It has been a while... long while since I last blogged. Hopefully, with this utility, I will be able to meet you sooner than usual.
Now, I am in the middle of Advanced ICDL testing. The testing is taking longer than expected, so I thought to blog these notes.
Today was the first day I report to work after a loooong vacation where I went to Canada. More about it soon. The facilitator is calling me... so I have to close it now. Talk to you soon.
-al
Saturday, December 6, 2003
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
Long long time since I wrote on my blog! Evolution in my character was still taking place. Sickness (viral infection in my resperatory system) has given me new lights to life and to myself.
Major challenges at work renforced my new conviction that worries never solve problems. I re-read the Pilgrimage and discovered new concepts about agape and the messenger. I have my doubts about the theory which I need to investigate.
I looked at my son and I understood clearly what Gibran said: Our children are not ours.... they are the children of life...how true... My son is growing on his own... I always think of ways to allow him to feel free for he is free... and I do my best to minimize my influence on his characer so that he forms his own... I am proud of him just for being what he is.
I hope the next time I jot down some ideas will not be so long.
Major challenges at work renforced my new conviction that worries never solve problems. I re-read the Pilgrimage and discovered new concepts about agape and the messenger. I have my doubts about the theory which I need to investigate.
I looked at my son and I understood clearly what Gibran said: Our children are not ours.... they are the children of life...how true... My son is growing on his own... I always think of ways to allow him to feel free for he is free... and I do my best to minimize my influence on his characer so that he forms his own... I am proud of him just for being what he is.
I hope the next time I jot down some ideas will not be so long.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
One whole day separate me from the last blog. Food poisoning attacked our family. An expired mexican spices used to cook our lunch two days ago was the cause.
During this time, I was still growing... maybe backward... I just re-membered basic concepts and beliefs I developed when I was still in my teens... I allowed life and insecurities to make me forget them... they were powerful. Why humans neglect strengths they develop in their personality?
I am still practicing to conquer the moment... still there are faliures... I am trying my best to develop a personality that naturally does not care about the worries of the future... and forget about the hate and loathing of the past.... I revert to meditation... a skill I learnt in my early 20's and ignored till recently... I meditate to train my brain to control its thoughts... it is effective although it does not give the nirvana described in spiritual genre... it just allows me to pacify my brain... give it a break... and let my "self" express itself... in this way, I am able to recognize many of the negative motives that drives my daily actions... and help me to inflate them without inflicting any psychological pressure... just like citronella repelling mosquitoes without hurting them... it is a nice feeling where you observe feels of hate and anger within you fly away while you smile at them... I do not know if they will eventually come back like mosquitos come back when you tunr off those torches... I will write it down here if it does...
How do I meditate: I just close my eyes, laying down, and focus on one idea... usually on one of the white spots I see when I close my eyes in the darkness... I try not to think of anything... when an idea comes, I kick it out and focus on the spot again.. I keep doing this until I feel energized... I do not know if the other meditation styles (mantra driven, dheker, or yoga) are more pwerful... yet to find out!
Living the NOW had made me come up with some philosophical beliefs like: "Think of the past to laugh, think of the future to dream, just live the present..." To me, this is powerful.
Usually, we think of the past for memories. Many of these memories give us hate, anger, envy, hurt. Few give us joy. When you live the NOW, you can make fun of any past memory... you remember the one who hurt you and you develop a joke of it... I am starting to do it frequently... it is fun... although I still hold some grudges toward some... I hope I can overcome them by March 2004!
As for the future, we think about it and worry... worry of misfortunes that might come... worry of losing something dear to our "self" like possession, loved ones or psychological status... by living the NOW, we won't worry anymore for we know that whatever comes, even the worst day-mare, won't have the impact we imagine it would when we worried about it, simply because we live the moment... instead, we should look toward the future and dream... dream of something good for our souls... have it as a dream... as an objective... and let's live the moment with the dream in our hearts... and as Cohleo said, the universe will conspire to make our dream come true... the most powerful dream is the one that comes from the heart when you pacify the mind... when you overcome the destructive insecure feelings you might get... otherwise, the dream becomes day dreaming and you will be losing the moment... you will be losing the NOW...
To me, the dreams are manifestation of the reasons we are born... you identify with your dream when you listen to the low whisper of your heart... Fear and insecurity are louder than these whispers... dreams developed in the midst of the screams of fear and insecurities are your brain dreams... in most cases they lead to futile struggle to achieve objectives that do not add up to you... do not allow you to grow... it is like "winning the world, but losing your soul"... to win truly, pacify the fears and insecurities then listen to the heart.. to its whisper... and your dream will surface like a blooming flower in a fast tracked movie... then... and only then... the universe will start its wheels to make your dream come true...
And now... I have an attack from the poisoning I got... I have to leave the blog and attend to physical needs...
During this time, I was still growing... maybe backward... I just re-membered basic concepts and beliefs I developed when I was still in my teens... I allowed life and insecurities to make me forget them... they were powerful. Why humans neglect strengths they develop in their personality?
I am still practicing to conquer the moment... still there are faliures... I am trying my best to develop a personality that naturally does not care about the worries of the future... and forget about the hate and loathing of the past.... I revert to meditation... a skill I learnt in my early 20's and ignored till recently... I meditate to train my brain to control its thoughts... it is effective although it does not give the nirvana described in spiritual genre... it just allows me to pacify my brain... give it a break... and let my "self" express itself... in this way, I am able to recognize many of the negative motives that drives my daily actions... and help me to inflate them without inflicting any psychological pressure... just like citronella repelling mosquitoes without hurting them... it is a nice feeling where you observe feels of hate and anger within you fly away while you smile at them... I do not know if they will eventually come back like mosquitos come back when you tunr off those torches... I will write it down here if it does...
How do I meditate: I just close my eyes, laying down, and focus on one idea... usually on one of the white spots I see when I close my eyes in the darkness... I try not to think of anything... when an idea comes, I kick it out and focus on the spot again.. I keep doing this until I feel energized... I do not know if the other meditation styles (mantra driven, dheker, or yoga) are more pwerful... yet to find out!
Living the NOW had made me come up with some philosophical beliefs like: "Think of the past to laugh, think of the future to dream, just live the present..." To me, this is powerful.
Usually, we think of the past for memories. Many of these memories give us hate, anger, envy, hurt. Few give us joy. When you live the NOW, you can make fun of any past memory... you remember the one who hurt you and you develop a joke of it... I am starting to do it frequently... it is fun... although I still hold some grudges toward some... I hope I can overcome them by March 2004!
As for the future, we think about it and worry... worry of misfortunes that might come... worry of losing something dear to our "self" like possession, loved ones or psychological status... by living the NOW, we won't worry anymore for we know that whatever comes, even the worst day-mare, won't have the impact we imagine it would when we worried about it, simply because we live the moment... instead, we should look toward the future and dream... dream of something good for our souls... have it as a dream... as an objective... and let's live the moment with the dream in our hearts... and as Cohleo said, the universe will conspire to make our dream come true... the most powerful dream is the one that comes from the heart when you pacify the mind... when you overcome the destructive insecure feelings you might get... otherwise, the dream becomes day dreaming and you will be losing the moment... you will be losing the NOW...
To me, the dreams are manifestation of the reasons we are born... you identify with your dream when you listen to the low whisper of your heart... Fear and insecurity are louder than these whispers... dreams developed in the midst of the screams of fear and insecurities are your brain dreams... in most cases they lead to futile struggle to achieve objectives that do not add up to you... do not allow you to grow... it is like "winning the world, but losing your soul"... to win truly, pacify the fears and insecurities then listen to the heart.. to its whisper... and your dream will surface like a blooming flower in a fast tracked movie... then... and only then... the universe will start its wheels to make your dream come true...
And now... I have an attack from the poisoning I got... I have to leave the blog and attend to physical needs...
Monday, August 25, 2003
25 August 2003.
Today, is the beginning of the end... For the last 3 years, ideas and concepts swooped into my mind without capturing it. Today, I will be able to cyberically, jot down these ideas wherever I am, whenever I can. I do not need to carry my notepad with me. I am living in the virtual note-taking world.
Recently, I faced the metamorphosis of growing in knowledge and experience. It is a sensational feeling. Yet, it makes your "self" separate from your surrounding. Separate from realities you have used to that was brought to you through the route of fear and anger. I suddenly discovered the NOW. I suddenly discovered that the insecurities I created within me in fear of facing the worse of my future, are the main causes of building up fear consequently make me insecure! I discovered that if we go through the path of love... unconditional love... we got to peace... Absolute peace!... yet, I still find it difficult to capture love at all moments with everyone... I still feel anger and hater toward some... this is something I have to work on... It si part of my "self" experience.
Another thing, is the conquer of the body... my inner voice tells me this has to be the next objective I need to work on... this objective is still an embryo that has to grow in time... hopefully before March 13th, 2004... which I have an inner feeling it is of importance to me... I do not know what...
Capture of the Past:
Here is a summary of what I have discovered in the passed three years;
1- Unconditional love is the aim of life. This is a truth that is brought by all religions and great masters of the universe. People misunderstand this fact. Some think it is the love of the loved ones... others think it is the physical love represented by sex... I just discovered that this unconditional love is the ability to love everyone, at anytime, any place. A person you just met... an enemy who fought you... a person who gave you hurt... I grasp it clearly.... yet I need to live it...
2- Religion is the manifestation of the people... each era develop different interpretations of the meaning of religeon... all original religion initiators were calling for the same thing: discover god within, which is the unconditional love... the religion interpreters, who assumed the responsibility of explaining the religion to the masses, misinterpreted the first call and people created new realities totally different from what the original initiators have called for. Politics, through the ages, changed the initial call for their own purposes... whether good or bad! : Jesus called for unconditional love... the political christianity now-a-days, calls for war in the name of peace, Mohammad called for the love of humanity, the present islamic politicians calls for hate and death... Examples could be drawn from all religeons..
3- Death is a fear that we were brought to worry about ever since we were young... recently, I was, accidental, exposed to many writings and sayings about death... the conclusion: death is reaching the ultimate peace... we just need to reach death when we have achieved the highest level of unconditional love... it is an idea that is still brewing in my head!
4- God: this is the most mis-understood concept in this reality.... unfortunately, I was driven by the misconception for a very long time... now I am starting to glimpse part of the truth... not the whole truth yet... At this stage, my explanation is this: try to imagine when you looked at a person you love... you really love... not sexually... just love. it could be a parent, a sibling, or a person you hold dear to you heart. Just recognize the feel of joy you have when you look at him or her... usually it is a fraction of a second... at that fraction of second... you experience the unconditional love... it is a joy beyond comprehension... it is the moment when God just places his finger in your heart giving you this joy... knowing God is an experience and knowledge that allows you to feel this joy all the time, everywhere, with everyone... then... and only then... you will understand God...
I think this should be enough now, for I have to live reality again, in one hour, I have to go to work... I have to leave my mental reality and live the physical reality... where I have to go back to being a physical human handling people's fear and insecurities to do my job... people around me are afraid and insecure... more about this will come later.... I have to go...
-aboluay-
Today, is the beginning of the end... For the last 3 years, ideas and concepts swooped into my mind without capturing it. Today, I will be able to cyberically, jot down these ideas wherever I am, whenever I can. I do not need to carry my notepad with me. I am living in the virtual note-taking world.
Recently, I faced the metamorphosis of growing in knowledge and experience. It is a sensational feeling. Yet, it makes your "self" separate from your surrounding. Separate from realities you have used to that was brought to you through the route of fear and anger. I suddenly discovered the NOW. I suddenly discovered that the insecurities I created within me in fear of facing the worse of my future, are the main causes of building up fear consequently make me insecure! I discovered that if we go through the path of love... unconditional love... we got to peace... Absolute peace!... yet, I still find it difficult to capture love at all moments with everyone... I still feel anger and hater toward some... this is something I have to work on... It si part of my "self" experience.
Another thing, is the conquer of the body... my inner voice tells me this has to be the next objective I need to work on... this objective is still an embryo that has to grow in time... hopefully before March 13th, 2004... which I have an inner feeling it is of importance to me... I do not know what...
Capture of the Past:
Here is a summary of what I have discovered in the passed three years;
1- Unconditional love is the aim of life. This is a truth that is brought by all religions and great masters of the universe. People misunderstand this fact. Some think it is the love of the loved ones... others think it is the physical love represented by sex... I just discovered that this unconditional love is the ability to love everyone, at anytime, any place. A person you just met... an enemy who fought you... a person who gave you hurt... I grasp it clearly.... yet I need to live it...
2- Religion is the manifestation of the people... each era develop different interpretations of the meaning of religeon... all original religion initiators were calling for the same thing: discover god within, which is the unconditional love... the religion interpreters, who assumed the responsibility of explaining the religion to the masses, misinterpreted the first call and people created new realities totally different from what the original initiators have called for. Politics, through the ages, changed the initial call for their own purposes... whether good or bad! : Jesus called for unconditional love... the political christianity now-a-days, calls for war in the name of peace, Mohammad called for the love of humanity, the present islamic politicians calls for hate and death... Examples could be drawn from all religeons..
3- Death is a fear that we were brought to worry about ever since we were young... recently, I was, accidental, exposed to many writings and sayings about death... the conclusion: death is reaching the ultimate peace... we just need to reach death when we have achieved the highest level of unconditional love... it is an idea that is still brewing in my head!
4- God: this is the most mis-understood concept in this reality.... unfortunately, I was driven by the misconception for a very long time... now I am starting to glimpse part of the truth... not the whole truth yet... At this stage, my explanation is this: try to imagine when you looked at a person you love... you really love... not sexually... just love. it could be a parent, a sibling, or a person you hold dear to you heart. Just recognize the feel of joy you have when you look at him or her... usually it is a fraction of a second... at that fraction of second... you experience the unconditional love... it is a joy beyond comprehension... it is the moment when God just places his finger in your heart giving you this joy... knowing God is an experience and knowledge that allows you to feel this joy all the time, everywhere, with everyone... then... and only then... you will understand God...
I think this should be enough now, for I have to live reality again, in one hour, I have to go to work... I have to leave my mental reality and live the physical reality... where I have to go back to being a physical human handling people's fear and insecurities to do my job... people around me are afraid and insecure... more about this will come later.... I have to go...
-aboluay-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)