War... War... Everywhere, and no tear to drop

War in Lebanon, war at work, war everywhere... or is it what I see?

Why people cannot live in peace? Today, another revelation came to me which relates "knowledege-Learning" to social strata... the bottom line of the idea is:

The more the person is ready to change own values, the higher that person will be in society!

Think about it and let me know what you think. This poses a moral challenge... I need to think about more to come up with a unified theory that adds value to my other theories...

Anyway, the last few days were bad... I mean really bad... on top of the Lebanese war which sickens me, the load at work is beyond bearing and to top it up... I felt so weak in the last week that I cannot explain.

Tomorrow we will go camping to the halfmoon lake next to Edmonton... I hope this will rejuvilate me to face the big challenges coming my way!

Ya 3ami.. badi ifham

The past few weeks caused turmoil in my conscience at all level. My perpetual disgust with the Israeli aggression against my people as if the Lebanese are roden deserve of organized and scientific extermination faces the new shocking of defining victory.

The Lebanese resistance kidnapped two Israeli soldiers to free up 3 Lebanese prisoners. In return, more Lebanese are dead, the whole infrastructure is destroyed, all Lebanese became prisoners in their houses, 1 million displaced and we are victorious! I cannot understand this logic... I am finding it more difficult to accept this reality... can anyone please explain it to me? I truly want to be proud of what the Lebanese has achieved... I want to feel the we really won this war... I really want to feel this war is giving me a better future... I want to walk in demonstration every year in July saying that we liberated our land (did we?) freed our prisoners (did we?) proved we deserve to live with dignity and prosperity (did we?) I really want to do that... but my logic prevent me from convincing myself... I need the help of those who solve this dilema for me!

I know many of the fighter are going to heaven because of their martyrdom. This is a well believed fact! But how I get to this heaven if I do not believe in their realm? Should I die to live in paradise? Is there any special death? Smashed under the stones of a building... or from debris of a mortar that was supposed to hit some one else? Should I kill someone to be eligible to go to heaven? What if I do not kill and die? Would I lose my chance to the glory of the glories?

Why me, or the poor inhabitant of the beloved south, were not given shelters or the minimum protection while those who belive in martyrdom the way to heave live in bunkers under the 7th earth?

Ya 3ami, badi ifhan... If I should feel proud... I need to know why? Who can help?