Facebook Interaction Ideas: How to raise our children

In respond to one of my Facebook acquaintances who wrote:

As parents (or future parents in my case at least) we should understand that religious indoctrination is nothing more but child abuse.

We are essentially cutting off diversity by imposing our thoughts over the new generation's thoughts. Thus harmful to us all, by attacking the evolution of human mentality and “teaching” them things like young-earth creationism and that homosexuality is unnatural and purely a choice.

Alternatively, we should teach them how to think for themselves, how to evaluate evidence, and how to disagree with us. In my opinion, even the most intense religious indoctrinations can be overcome.

I replied:

You are absolutely right. We must be careful not to make your approach another "intellectual" indoctrination and indirectly influence on our children our "liberal" points of view. For this reason, it is essential to bring them up on "Mustapha's Premises on Steroids": we should prepare them to learn, unlearn, relearn and to think collaboratively (the steroid) at a very early age. This could be achieved in promoting the values of flexibility, adaptability and tolerance. Then let them build their own personality, as you said, through thinking [collaboratively with others] for themselves. Once they reach this stage, then they are free to indoctrinate themselves in any paradigm they choose. This is the "food for thought" I fed my son.

PS: 1. To clarify collaboration vs cooperation. Cooperation is synergy among individuals of the same paradigm. While collaboration is synergy among individuals from different paradigms.
2. Thank you, Mustapha Hamoui: for enticing this discussion. Valuable thoughts.

Breakfast in Amsterdam

[replicated from my personal blog]

I had a delicious breakfast in Amsterdam this morning. I discovered few new tricks that would add gourmet flavour to common breakfast food:

1- for scrambled eggs, add a dash of French dressing (mustard based) and the eggs will taste energizing.

2- sauté half tomatoes and when done, melt a thin slice of Swiss chess on top, a drop of lemon and a dash so salt! Heavenly

3- on a slice of herb cheese, put small diced mushroom (sautéed with butter) and dash of pepper then roll and eat...

4- instead of putting mushroom in the scrambled egg, separately sauté them with butter and have them on the side of the eggs... To replace the potatoes...

All the above are delicious and fulfilling without ruining the all protein diet...

I love Amsterdam!...

Excerpts I Found Interesting

"It is through the past that humanity views the future. This is a mistake, We should instead be critical of the past and build the present for the future, rather than build the present on the basis of the past" ~unknown

"For every truth, there is an opposite truth which is equally true" ~Sidartha

"People prefer things to be well defined, well framed, limited in a way, in the image of their own mind".

"All fears of strangers is a proof of primitive level of civilization".

"We should regard four levels: infinity, our creator, human society, individual."

...

Dependent and Independent thinkers

[copied from my personal website for archiving, safe keeping and preservation].

In a dialogue I had with couple of my dear community, we reached to an interesting concept that can direct  the way we raise our children. We have noticed, as parents, that our action and attitude towards our kids can promote one of two types of thinkers: the dependent thinker who strive to collect their thoughts, ideas and knowledge by absorbing them from others. The independent thinkers is those who create their own ideas by themselves through observations, interactions and reflections and they do not wait for others to show/dictate/ them how.

Relating the above to sociological dynamics, the first type, i.e. the dependent thinkers, are the "believers" who follow tradition and the norm of their community of practice or culture. The second type, i.e. the independent thinkers, are the "scientists" who rely on observation and analysis of patterns around them to create their own understanding the parameters of life.

Unfortunately current religious practices, especially in Islam, convert the believers, or the dependent thinkers, into a lower form of thinkers. Al Jabiri calls then: the resigned thinkers. I.e., those who disassociate reality from reason completely and just follow what the devious elders set as the route of life.

Creating independent thinkers happens when parents get  less involved in the upbringing of their kids between the age of infancy and toddler-hood. By letting them free to discover their world on their own while providing: love, support and a set of values that governs their principles.

In my case, the set of values I provided my son during his youth were: (1) Don't spend money unless you earned  it, (2) Don't get involved in any act that renders your reason faculty useless, (3) Don't be involved in activities that might result in loss of life and (4) Make mistakes, but never do the same mistake twice.

Reflecting on my son, I find that he has added many values to the  above set. If I choose one from his set to add to mine, it would be: (5) Be compassionate.

16 Things about my son... written by him when he was 17

I copied these words from my Son's notes on his Facebook notes page. He wrote them when he was 16 years old and I wanted to immortalize them here. I am always proud of the wisdom he manages to dig from his experience in life:

16 Things About Me

Rules: IF U NEED THE RULES -- YOU'VE BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK. THANK YOU.

(Sidebar: -- I think my title for this Note is so creative. I know it might not be, but I still choose to bask in its creativity)

1. I always retype my comments on Facebook if I make a spelling mistake, delete the DEFECTED post, and pray to god that the people involved do not get email alerts.

2. If you do something to piss me off. My instinct is to hold a grudge and never let it off my mind. I still hold grudges from Improv. -- Thankfully, I can control my instincts

3. I've liked Britney's music ever since "Oops I did it Again", and it was her music that taught me how to sing the way that I do.

3. When I sing Top 40 in my room, my mind automatically commands me to sing the harmonies.

4. If I need to care for myself. I will do just that, and tune everyone else out, when this happens, nobody can get 100% sincere attention from me. Rarely happens. I think its fair.

5. I try NOT to put down things that I've done in the past. No matter how embarrassing stories can get, they are a part of what formulated me, and if I do seem to speak negatively about them, I'm really showing off about what I've learned and how I've learned it.

6. I am rlly content with my life. Great friends; Amazing parents. And when I have a bad day, just a reminder that "Life's good [L.G.]" can bring it up again.

7. I always forget that I've written a book, and end up appearing flustered when I'm asked about it.

8. I love having conversations with people about what their definition of life is, whether it consists of mutual contribution, or just listening. I cannot stand when it turns into a "prove-U-R-wrong" debate. 

9. In my head, I have compassion for everyone, but I don't always know how to show it. This is something I want to change.

10. I secretly believe my hips were made for dance.

11. I've overcome worrying over what people think of me. This took a lot of practice and patience, but it’s made life so much easier. Thanks Dad.

12. I worry that I might lose the imagination that I had when I was younger.

13. I absolutely love when people take the time to come up and talk to me, and I do my best to show them I appreciate it, as well. But sometimes forget that I can start conversations, too.

14. I want to inspire. Speaking with the Dr. Clark kids occasionally dominates my mind, and makes me want to do it again.

15. I hate when people blame my successes on me being a teacher’s pet. I work hard on my essays, and put a lot more thought than you might think into scenes in Drama. 

16. I dance when I'm alone.

ALSO; MEGAN BEST IS ALWAYS A SUGGESTED PERSON TO TAG IN MY NOTES DUE 2 HER STELLAR LAST NAME. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY NOTES, MEGAN XD

Life of Pi -3: Reason

The parents are very different than their culture. The people around them are believer who like to follow tradition. They rely on belief and they are ready to follow what their ancestors told them to do. The parents, on the other hand, believe in reason, rationality and science. Pi is born in the middle and boundaries of these two opposing paradigms. This is what makes him unique. He had to balance between the two. According to the father, if Pi can find a good solution through reason and rationality, that would be great. If he cannot find the balance, then Pi must choose one, only one, and stick through belief rather than be confused in moving between many.

In conclusion the parents gave him the following formulas:

Reason=Thinking Rationally=Science=Doubt

References with comments:

Science =reason, it has the knowledge of what is out there (20:24)
Religion=believe (opposite of reason), it has the knowledge of what is inside

Believing in everything at the same time is like believing in nothing at all (19:50) = the keyword is believing, if you want to believe, believe in one think... otherwise use science and rationality to understand the world

Start with reason, science has taken us further than religion did in 10 thousand of year (20:05) = science is source of knowledge, religion source of ignorance

I'd rather want you believe in one thing I disagree with than to accept everything blindly (20:32) = think rationally

There are far more than this that address parenthood and relationships

A mouthful of water will not harm you, but panic will (5:16) = fear and panic kill.

Life pf Pi -2: God

In this post, I will discuss the issues of God and Religion. These are apparent topics in the movie/story

God: 

A case of number: The very first idea I grasped from watching the movie the first time was trying to give some explanation to God. Clearly the movie relates that the Gods of all religions is one and same. Each manifest him in their own way. Using the name Pi suggests that math has to do with it. One major difference between the different religions is the number of God they worship. Islam worship, Christianity worships 3 in one, while Hindus have many. Does the number have to do it? Is this why the author used Pi as a name? Is it symbolic that Math (aka logic) can explain it? Is this why the father suggested that if you want to have a belief it should be based on rational thinking (aka logic?)

Each one makes his own God: One obvious conclusion about God is that God is perceived as the individuality wants to perceive Him. This was obvious at the end when Pi asks the writer "Which story [of the two versions] you prefer? (1:56:30)  The writer replies: "The one with the Tiger, That's the better story". And Pi replies: "Thank you" (indicating he made it up and he is proud of his creativity)... "and so it goes with God!" So, people tend to choose the version of God that makes a better story for them. We choose the God that suits us... powerful message.

Religion

Religion is counterproductive: To him, religion is darkness although it advocates light (14:30). Religion is a link to the past (15:05). Both anecdotes indicates that religion blinds because it focuses on the past.

Believers must have guilt feeling: In his argument, religion promotes guilt feeling. God sacrifice the innocent to save the guilty (17:05).

Each religion has its own benefits  Hinduism =knowledge, Christianity=Love, Islam=serenity and brotherhood (from 17:48 to 19:00).

Life of Pi - 1: Overview

My son pushed me to watch Life of Pi... and he was right! I watched twice, once as a download, and since I liked it and wanted to discuss it with my son, I watched in movies to contribute to its financial gain.

Since my son is really busy and cannot find time to discuss it with me, I will jot down some thoughts in preparation for our interactions. It will be divided over few posts.

The cinamatography

The cinematography is superb mixing reality with the wider space. I did not find the 3D made any difference. 2D would have been as good. The Direction is great. Since I did not read the book itself, I would like to know if the movie reflected all the ideas in the book.

One scene I like is the pristine piscine especially when Mamaji was swimming and you can see the sky from under the water...(6:20-6:40).

I like how facial expressions between writer and pi, between the father and mother tells a lot of meaning (10:00-11:00) The swimming fish (1:21:00) The nautical-cosmic world (1:22:55-1:25:55)

I will talk about other issues in later blogs. For now, check the movie trailer:

My US Trip, 2012: 17 Jul to 4 Aug, 2012

On June 28th, 2012, I set out to make my Grande US Tour. I tried to capture all the trip on Latitutde with my cel phone. You can see full dates and travel there. Here is a summary:

Part 1: East bound - June 17 till July 11, 2012

I drove eastbound to meet y wife and mother in law. Drove alone. Dates are captured through Latitude.

Fort McMurray > Lac Labich > Cold Lake > Meadow Lake > Green Lake > Prince Albert > Melfort > Yorkton > Russell > Portage La Prerie > Assiboea > Winnipeg > INTO US through ND  (Jul 1) > Grand Fork, ND > Saint Cloud > Minneapolis > Eau Claire > Edgerton > Jefferson Park > Chicago (Jul 2) > Hammond IN, > Lasing MI (Jul 3, saw Hani) > Ann Arbor > Detroit - > INTO CANADA through ON > Windsor, ON >  Kingsvile, ON > London, ON > Burlington (Jul 5 Saw Elache's) > Deseronto (See Norm) > Greater Napean > Odessa > Kingston > Fort Menry > Ottawa (saw El Barbirs and picked up my Mother-in-law) > Kingston (8 Jul) > Toronto > Burlington (picked up Sana)

Part 2: Trip with Sana and my Mother in Law  - July 11 - 21, 2012

The spike between Buffalo and Washington is due to lack of Communication Signal. Bell Canada did not work as promised.

It started on Jul 11 after Sana arrived by pane to Hamilton airport and we spend few days as a arge family.
Burington > Niagara Falls > INTO US through NY > Buffalo, NY > Garden View, PA > Loyalsock, PA > Washington DC (13 Jul) >  Baltimore > York > Petersbourgh > Reading > New Jersey (no signal) > New York City > Orangeburg (16 Jul, did service to the car) > Hariman > Middleton > Port Jarvis > Binghamton > Syracuse > Alexandria Bay (17 Jul, had a relaxation)> Back to Canada through Kingston >  Great Napean (19 Ju) > Etobicke > Burlington.

Sana leaves to Fort McMurray aon July 21 and I continue the trip on my own.

Part 3: My solo trip through US - July 21 - August 4th, 2012

I drove through the East and Mid West in the USA. My trip took this route

Notes:
a. I am listing the cities I stayed in for more than 3 hours.
b. the +'s indicate how much I enjoyed the experience in that city
c. the -'s indicate how much I hated I hated it.
d. Check my latitude record on Google for exact dates and routes.

Toronto > Buffalo, NY > Erie > Cleveland-  > Columbus+  > Cincinnati > Louisville ++ > Sheperdville > Elizabethtown > Nashville+ > Dickson > Memphis -- > Whitehaven > Grenada > Jackson > Brookhaven > Hammond > New Orleans +-+-++ > Houma > Bayou Cane > Gray > Lafayette > Houston + > Corisiana > Dallas ++ > Denton > Oklahoma City > El Reno > Shrebrook >  Amarillo >  > Roswell > Albuquerque > XXXX > Santa Fe + > Walsborough > Pueblo + > Coorado Springs ++ > Denver +++ > Chienne+ > Casper > Sherdan, CO > Great Falls > Medicine Hat > Lethbridge > Calgary > Edmonton > Fort McMurray (Reached on Aug 4th to reunite with Luay)

[I just noticed that y cell phone did now capture any of my trips in New Mexico... strange!]

With this trip, I can confirm that I have visited all US states except fot Alabama, Georgia and Alaska. Us chapter is closed.

Doing Laundry

I'm in a laundry at... In Alexandria Bay, NY... An experience. After two weeks of traveling, I was forced to do laundry. My approach so far was to buy cheap cloths when needed then dispose of them when become dirty. I could not find any cheap cloths in upstate NY and the heat forced me to change my cloths almost twice daily... My supply of new cloths finished... The only resolution was to clean the few pieces left with me... What an experience.

A process that usually require $5, cost around 10. I started by making mistakes at the detergent disposing vending machine. That's what it says. My first dollar went to twin laundry has. The second one went on the softener. What the hell is a softener? After 2 dollars, I got my two detergent boxes. Apparently, I needed two because I have to separate my whites from the colors.

The washing machine said: put detergent, put cloths, close lid, insert coins then start machine. Don't believe them. I did just that. Except the coins dispenser was not working and I had to use another machine. It is easy to remove the cloths... But how do you take the detergent out again? Here goes another dollar. Buy a new box and do the whole process again. This time I learned my lesson. I added the detergent after I inserted all th coins and before I chose the cycle.

I'm writing this while waiting for the drying, which could be another blog.

Here are some pictures to support this story.


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Location:Alexandria Bay,United States

Stories from the Haji

I spent few days with the Haji, my wife's 88 years old grand mother. I did my best to get from her the memories of the days past. Here is the juice of 4 days discussions and chats.

Her dad bought a house in Saqiet El Janzeer. In her youth, their was a stream that run through her neighborhood. There were a potter who used the stream to make his pottery. Her house was on the wall of the French brigade in Beirut. She was born in 1926, so I am assuming her stories go back to early 40's.

She mentioned that there were French officers and soldiers served by Sinigali helpers. Her sister used to like the French soldiers in the day, but scared of them at night. I presumed this girl was Hdieh, the mysterious sister that I have yet to meet. One story she told me that her sister used to stand under the window of one officer and sings something like: give me checks, give me gum. She sang it in English. I am wondering why English was used by the French? And the "check" she referred to was the " checlets" gum that used to be popular in my young days. I am wondering if it exited back in the 30's and 40's as well, or she was mixing between different eras.

Based on her description of her dad's house, I have strong beliefs she used to live next to my grandpa's house in Saquiet. She talked abut the huge jemaizeh tree awhile was next to her house. My grandpa was next to a jemaizeh tree. She talked about the French brigades... My grandpa was behind the UN brigades in the area... Which was known to be French head quarters before. Did she live next to him and did not know? She does not know.

She said that her dad was forced to move to Fadieh... A suburb of Beirut. It was not clear why they moved. There, she showed she had her encounters with the beauty of nature. Her mom kept a fruitful03288676 dr. Wadi al no3man..



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From the Archive: A trip to Beirut

While browsing the old folders on my home server, I found the below memories I wrote back in 2002. I thought to copy/paste them here without any editing for eternal safe keeping.

Contemplations about my Trip to Lebanon 2002-07-23

Tuesday 16 July 2002

We headed to the airport around 6:15. The driver was an African Arab… either from Sudan or Somalia. He had a low exhausted voice… I suspect from smoking. He was remorseful about the delay and blaming on the wrong directions given by the company.

The check in was smooth. We had to talk our way to get a seat on the exit. The earlier booking was not accurate. We walked to the gates. Luay and Sana took the caddy cart. I walked the distance. The moving belt was not moving… but I walked through it.

We went to the restaurant. As usual, Sana was arguing about the location of the restaurant… although she knows she does not know about directions. As usual, again, she was wrong. A hostess showed us the way. We had a couple of drink then we went to the Duty Free. I did not find any item of interest. Our main expenditure was bubble gums. We saw Wadi Jureidini there and we chatted for a while. Gate 14 faced the duty free. We had a little walk to do.

The flight was smooth. We had turbulence during the first 15 minutes. After that, it was like butter flowing on oil. My seat was next the emergency exit. Sana and Luay sat in seats behind me. To my left, there was a Lebanese gentleman who I suspect was a Durzi. He works in Saudi Arabia and now is moving to Dubai. I gathered he is married with one son. He was hesitant about giving information about himself although he was friendly. We chatted about UAE, Saudi and getting comfortable in the cultural move from Riyadh to Dubai. He has a sister who works with HCT and a brother in law who works at AUS. They live in Sharjah.

On my right, there was another quiet Lebanese gentleman. We chatted briefly about HCT and it budget. Beyond that, he did not say anything.

Since Sana ordered sea food… we had our meal quiet early. The food was good but not tasty. I finished the food quiet early and had to carry the plates on my lap for a long time.

During the flight, I tried to read a book called “Political Stories”… but it was the usual Arabic grinning about the political situation. I read the first few pages without interest. Then browsed through the remaining pages quickly and put it away. I doubt I will read it again.

Then I moved to reading the “Messages from the Masters”. It did not attract me. I presume it is another money making attempt trying to tell people there is more to life than what they know. I know I will finish this book… one day.

I asked for Al Diyar newspaper. I skimmed it very quickly then put it away. I felt I have no interest with Politics. At my age… it is enough to read the headlines to know the content. Politics, in general, became predictable.

We reached Beirut and walked to the Security check with Wadi. It was smooth. Wadi sounded so pessimistic. He had the tendency of believing negative ideas about Lebanon far easier than seeing a living a positive situation. I was wondering why! Is it a political stand due to his beliefs or that he knows things I do not know! I wondered without asking hoping to discover it one day.

We reached Beirut around 12. Hadi, Mirna, Rula and their kids were waiting for us. Hadi looks smart as ever. Mirna still in her charm although se already had a baby. Rula was elegant and beautiful as always. I felt love energizing me when I saw my family. We went to my in-laws house. After kisses and hugs, we stayed chatting till 3 am. We went to sleep around that time.

Wednesday 17 July 2002

We woke up late.
We went to Hospital to help Hayat. We visited their house for the first time.
We drove to my daddy’s house in Rolla’s car.
We slept there.
The view was gorgeous.

Thursday 18 July 2002

We Slept at Daddy’s house.
We had a chat all day log about politics…

Friday 19 July 2002

Rula picked us up and took us to her house. Had delicious Manakish which I regretted later because I felt stuffed and had headaches. Rolla tool us to my in-laws to pay farewell to Hajji who was going to Canada the next day. We met uncle Walid and Hanan. Nizar and his daughter came and had a good talk. Apparently, Hanan and Nizar are not talking.

We went to Hadi’s to sleep there.

Saturday 20 July 2002
We went to Mirna’s father ranch. We swam. I was called Casper.

Sunday 21 July 2002
We went to Saida and had delicious Fool plate. Then we walked through the old Market. We ate Cheese Pie from the old Al Baba sweat’s shop. We went around Dhbabneh palace.

We met a doctor that I forgot his name. He is married to a Romanian lady. He has grown up children although he looked young. Talked about business in Lebanon and he sounded encouraging.

We drove the car to Jizin for Sana to see the waterfalls. We had fruits at the “Waterfall View” restaurant while Sana energized her self from the fall of waters. We drove the back way to Sawfar passing through Shouf Mountains. We reached Sawfar around 6 pm to attend Ahmad’s son birthday.

For the first time in 25 years, I met most of the Fawzi family. There were tones of children and grandchildren. Some of whom I remember now are:

Uncle Fawzi and Elena. Caritas and Tariq and their 5 daughters. One of them already married to nice, but arrogant person. As cute as ever Maria, her husband Riyad and their 2 daughters and son Karim. Ida, her lovely son Ahmad and her 2 daughters. Toufic and his wife Lucia and their daughter. And Ahmad’s children.

We went to Hadi’s to sleep. We slept early.

Monday 22 July 2002
I went to Douma through Jubeil. I took a service to Hilo station then a bus to Jubeil. I hired a taxi to drive to Douma which was 44 Km. Checked in Room 205 after I chatted with the hotel manager.

Tuesday 23 July 2002

The Top Songs on the day of my Birth

The top song on the UK chart was:



While on the US charts, weirdly enough, was:




While its English version was song by Dean Martin:



More will come once I find them out!

Allen's Midnight in Paris

Just finished Woody Allen's brilliant movie: Midnight in Paris... Reliving the greatness of the 20's and interacting with the "lost generation" surreal great artists of humanity through the eyes of today is brilliant. Struggle between love and obligation, dreaming and reality, doing what is passionate and what is right... People look for golden age outside their real themselves...Watching it with Wikipedia on your side for referencing is enlightening experience.

This movie deserves more than a watch. But, at this point, here are some of what I got to reflect on in the future:

- Stein: we all fear death and question our place in the universe, the artist job is not to succumb to despair, but to find an antidote to the emptiness of existence.

- Gill: how can anyone come up with a book, or painting, or symphony or sculpture that can compete with a great city... Look around [Paris]... Every street, every boulevard has its special art form. And when you think that in cold violent meaningless universe that Paris exists, these lights... Com'n...there is nothing happening on Jupiter or Mars or Neptune, but from way out of space you can see these lights, the cafes, people drinking, singing... I mean for all we know, Paris is the hottest spot in the Universe.

- "you inhabit two worlds, so far I see nothing strange"... In the 20's, this is normal. now it is strange!

- "Pablo is the greater artist, but Matese is a greater painter". An interesting distinction between an artist an a painter.

- Everyone consider the other age is the golden age...

- these people don't have antibiotics.

- Writers are full of words but lack emotions.

My favorite new movie. Transformational experience.

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Memory: Standing in line

Today, I had to stand in line for 34 minutes. I haven't done this in many, many years. I had good reflections. I will jot down my ideas before they perish.

The line was in Canada Post. I had to mail a letter to a Canadian Service agency. I had to spend 34 minutes just to put a stamp. In 34 minutes, I would have replied to 5 emails, checked my FaceBook, read my Google Reader (that gets me news from 1000 news agencies), checked my PhD discussion forum. All, within the 34 minutes. While I had to stand in line doing nothing, except thinking, for 34 minutes. I tried to talk to the people in front of me. They just smiled politely as if telling me to shut up. This is the smooth polite Canadian way of being being rude, I looked around and started reading labels of items for sale. It was a total waste of time.

I do not understand why Canadian Service agencies do not use electronic systems. Why I had to mail the paper. They made me fill the form online, but at the end they said: print then mail. Why not Submit? Is this the government way to make people busy? I am wondering.

When I was driving home, I gave it more thought. One reason I left Lebanon for ever is the waiting I was expected to accept. I remember between 1975 and 1977 the waiting I had to do on the neighborhood bakery. I had to wait hours just to get a bag of [peta] bread. Bread is essential food item in Lebanon. If I do not wait all the way, my family will go hungry. Not because we are poor, nor because we had another alternative. But it was the war. Many times the bakery closed before my turn reached. Many times the zo3ran (what Canadian politely call the bullies) would cut the line and take all the bread. This used to hurt me. Deeply. Because I refuse to fight or to be a bully, my family has to spend a day witout bread. It frustrated me. This was one reason I hated queues. It was forcing me to be a bad person, otherwise my family will suffer. How can you make peace with this idea? I could not. That is why I hate standing in line. That is why I left Lebanon.

[imagery: just to describe how the line used to be, here is a brief description. Check this link to have a Google Maps idea: http://g.co/maps/p7pr9. A snapshot is on the right. Due to the war, the bakeries, which we call Forun, used to receive subsidized flour from the government to bake bread which is the basic food in Lebanon. The baker was supposed to sell the bread at a certain price, otherwise, the government will not give him flour. The baker would take quarter of the subsidized flour and bake them into bread to sell them at government price. While he uses the reaming three quarters to bake other stuff like banquettes, cake, cookies and what we call "petite feure" at more than 10 times its government set price. Thus he makes tonnes of money. A sort of legal stealing scheme in Lebanon. The government would send the flour late at night and the baker would start backing at early hours of the day. My mom would wake me up at 5 am to go and stand in line waiting for my turn. Usually the line extends from the bakery shop all the way to our house. That is around 3 blocks in New York block size. I would wait hours before the line start moving. I am leaning on walls of buildings. Many times under rain. Few times during shelling. It was the civil war, you know. I really believe these long waits made me a thinker. I had nothing I could do except wait and think. By the way, I was 17 years old, and we did not have smart phones nor iPads back then. The only available reading for me was a 37 pages Superman comics].

Another experiential queue I remember was when I wanted to apply for a US Visa in Dubai. That is around 30 years later. I had two experiences. One experience was nerve wrecking while the other one was enlightening.

The first one was in 2000. It was after a long period of time where I got used to "buy my queue". I had people who would go and wait in line in my place. I forgot the agony and anger the queues give me. But in 2000, I had to stand in line. The US embassy in Dubai want you to apply in person. Whoever you are, you have to be there. Their system necessitates that you stand in multiple sequential queues. The first one before even you get to their building (which was in the Dubai Trades Centre). At this stage, they just check the purpose of your visit. The second set of queues are inside the building before you get to the lifts. In this phase, you have to surrender everything you have except your pants and shirt. You may keep your passport. The third queue is in a corridor waiting for your turn to take the lift. The fourth queue is after you leave the lift, but before you are admitted into the offices. Here, they re-Xray you and ensure you are not hiding anything in your body. The fifth waiting place is inside the embassy, in a big hall where you are seated before your name was called. This was longest wait.

I remember the first time I applied, I left after the 4th wait. I was angry and frustrated. I felt humiliated. I swore I will never go again.

How can I live without visiting the US. So, I tried again the second time in 2002. After 9-11. You can imagine the strictness of the visit. So, before I go, I meditated, prayed, did partial hypnosis to tolerate the experience. I prepared myself mentally, physically and spiritually. I was frustrated at the second phase. I took a deep breath. Recited few relaxing phrases. Did a standing yoga to give myself a boast to survive it. Then an epiphany happened. I though to myself, why am I projecting negativity around myself. Why not mine for positivity and absorb it. This was a changing decision. That is when I decided to "waste the day no matter how long it takes". My mood changed. Suddenly, I recognized there are people around. I am not alone in this queue. I looked at their faces. I tried to think about them. What are their agonies. What make them happy. How can I make them happy. How can I project positivity unto them. Suddenly I became joyful. Then I decided to look at every individual based on who he is... and not how I want to make him to be... it was a value changing experience. Ever sine then, I started believing in individuality. But I still hated queues.

Today, I had to stand in line again. Those 34 minutes made me reflect on my previous experiences. Above all, made me recognize one anger I bottled up all these years. I am wondering, should I stand in queues more often? Is this why the Canadian government wanted me to mail the letter rather than email it?

Another queue, another experience and another day.

Fall 2011 TV series

This Fall, many new TV series were introduced. Here is my take on some of them.

2 Broke Girls: On CityTv

Max and Caroline are two broke girls, each for different reason. Max for being a born loser, and Caroline a pre-rich girl who went to the lower ranks because of fraudulent father. The story is an imitation of a group of previous series like Darma and Greg. Max is the down to earth pessimistic while Caroline is the optimistic forward thinker. The program is filled with witty comments and thoughtful links to contradictory ideas. I haven't laughes yet. I do not think it will survive more than two season unless they introduce other characters that breaks the monotonous femal-female continuous bickering.

Last Man Standing: On CityTV

Tim Allen is back. This time as Mike Baxter. It is an almost imitation of Tim's old Home Improvement. Tim plays an identical role: a dumb macho man who works in a only man job. The different is that the children are all girls (instead of boys in the previous series). Instead of hosting the Tool Man TV show, he moved into Web Advertisement. Same old type of jokes. Tim still has the energy although he looks bit older. I still need more time to figure out if it will survive to the next season.

New Girl: on CityTV
Jess who just lost her boy friend through cheating moves to live in house filled with men. The program is contrasting the male and female world with an upper hand for the woman. I think this will be another failure to add to 4 Kings and Accidentally on Purpose. I do not think the audience appreciate the boys vs girl struggles.

Pan Am: on CTV

A nice change. Pan Am is the story of flight attendants in the 60's serving on the ill fated Pan Am airliner. The main drift of the series is to live the 60's again. Its history, style, fashion and events. From the era of Kennedy with the start of the cold war to the first race to the moon. The movie is filled with nostalgic scenes and ideas that will attract the new retiring generation, which I think will give it some factor for success.

Happily Divorced: GlobalTV
Another Fran Drescher series that revolves around the same topic. A sex driven woman with a strange force that has struggle with her real husband. This time, the husband is gary. I do not think Fran learns from her mistakes. I suspect it will be another failure unless the gay community put their weight behind it.

The Circle of Academicians

The last 5 weeks of my doctorate studies focused on the realm of academics. We discussed many topics about traits and characteristics an academician should acquire to be successful in this field. Good discussions took place. Out of these two topics, I want to share here two concepts that was raised. Both of them were mine. One I shared with the rest of the team, the other one I kept to myself, and now for you.

The first idea was related to Clifton's strengths. I made a bold statement that a successful academician should have at least one of the following strengths: Ideation, Intellection, Learner, Connectidness or  Restorative. I would if my idea will pass the research test. it could be a thesis for one of my assignments.

The second idea is the Community of Practice. Some of the participants doubted the rules of the academic world. At the same time, during my MOOC course, I discovered that the Mooc'ers wanted to adapt their approach to the academic world. I am opposing this approach. I feel the academic world is a different community of practice than the Mooc'ers, which are different that common wisdom of the layperson. Each one follow different set of rules.

As an illustration of the situation, I like to use the following two scenarios:

(1) Consider a person who does not drink alcohols joining a wine tasting club. That person will be counterproductive to himself and the members. it is the same story. A person who does not appreciate the academic environment and wants to obtain a PhD will lose himself and make the experience of the other PhD'ers bad.

(2) Consider a person who gambles by playing Poker. If her tries to play Black Jack with the poker rules will definitely lose all his money, even if he won a couple of rounds. Consequently, if you want to study PhD, you should play by the rules of the PhD otherwise the study will be a total of loss, even if he won some arguments.
Just two illustration I wanted to capture before i perish.

Peace to me!

In a letter to a friend, I mentioned that most of the people use the phrase "Peace Upon You", "Shalom" and "Salamu Alaykoum" (which all mean Peace) without knowing what the Peace really means.

Then a friend of mine statused his facebook with the phrase: "Kindness is to love others even if they do not deserve it".

Then it came to me. I commented on his status with "Peace is to love others without thinking if they deserve it or not". What an epiphany!

This matches Jesus wisdom: Love Thy Enemy. I need to find reference in other religions!

The Perfect Person

My mother in law, who was on a drive with us towards Las Vegas, commented that a perfect person will not make mistakes. My reply was "to the contrary, a perfect person is someone who makes a lot of mistakes, but never repeat the same one twice". I felt these words of wisdom. So, I captured them here.


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Location:Clearwater, BC

Blue Loon Grill, Clearwater, BC

We just stopped in the Blue Loon Grill restaurant in Clearwater town in British Columbia. We were on our way from Jasper to Kamloop. The experience was soul lifting.

The lady was so welcoming and funny.she treated us as family. They did have everything the claim they do. The reason she gave us is the "pony express" did not come. We did not understand at first. Then we understood that she meant "the train". Clearwater is in the middle of nowhere and getting food and supplies is very difficult.




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